Chloe

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adoringskins:

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I buy all your favorite foods so I will be ready when you come home
because once I did this and you said
This is how I know you love me.

I go on long walks alone and think about a poem my friend wrote
that goes ‘This is how you die by distance.’
I hum the sound of the dial tone under my breath.

I stare at my hands and wonder at their uses. I consider pawning my thighs. I consider auctioning off my hip bones.
I put my breasts in a box on the top shelf of the closet.
I do not need them now.

I think of all the things I have to tell you when I will see you.
Stories like:
I just found out pumpkins are technically fruits
and Cary Grant’s first job was in a traveling circus
and Most mammals are born able to walk and learn to run within minutes, so we are not crazy for moving so fast.

This morning I wrote your name in the steam on my mirror, even though I knew it would fade within minutes
In my best notebook I wrote “I miss you” ten thousand times. I wrote “I think I am missing one of my ribs”
I wrote “I envy the way leaves know exactly when to fall from the branches and when to come back in the spring”
I wrote “Everyone else isn’t you. It turns out that’s a huge problem for me.

-Things I Do When I Cannot Hold You, Clementine von Radics  (via lick-it-lovingly)

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I don’t think you realise, how quickly you can make me smile.

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